Bae Will Be Here When You Get Back

· Hopefully. Either way, travel without sometimes. ·

When it comes to relationships and travel, some women opt to traveling with “Bae”. For safety, security, sponsorship or simply shared experiences.

We’ve all seen the viral posts of beautiful traveling couples on romanticized trips, bringing sand to the beach and playing BlueLagoon. #Baecation–ing for our eyes to long for and our hearts to implode.

Awwww.

Now, forget that. Save it for your marriage — and even then, save something for yourself. Squint through the mirages of landing pages and understand there’s dirty issues behind the lens.

I’m not against traveling with your boo. In fact, I’ve done it many times and intend to do it again, even with a naked ring finger. I’m actually all for it, until it becomes the only way you travel. The following list is based on my experiences and fellow traveler’s insights.

Here are ten reasons ladies should travel without their significant other from time to time.

  1. The Access Pass

Girls get in places for free 99 all over the globe. Most of us don’t have Kardashian butts or budgets, so we have to spend a lot of lettuce while traveling. Why don’t we save everyone money and travel with estrogen only? Unless you have a girlfriend, skip to numero dos.

      2) Allow your special someone to miss you

“You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. ” – Joni Mitchell (never lies).

Give it a break. Build trust. Remind yourself of who you are as an individual.

     3) Do what YOU want to do

Being in another place, for a limited time, also limits your itinerary options. You want to go to Machu Picchu. Bae wants to go to the Larco. Now you have to adjust how long you’re doing your thing, if you can do it at all. AND you have to have an hour debate, getting pissed over Pisco about how to make both parties happy. Check please.

     4) The Sisterhood – Make it a girls trip

Most of us in the modern world are “independent women” who have so much going on we forget to make time outside of our day to day to really talk to one another. The opportunity to come together is sacred and should be treated as such. Having a support system to have your Waiting to Exhale beach moments or let loose without judgment should be a prescribed medicine for an uplifted and fully renewed spirit.

Women are natural nurturers and empathic givers. Simply being around each other is restorative, and probably great for our skin and ovaries in some mystical way.

     5) Find new exotic fish or learn to appreciate tuna

What if you find someone better? Not that anyone is looking… But sometimes we can be so close to the picture, the pixels of our “person” shine blindingly bright. Take a step back. Human beings don’t know how to truly appreciate what we’ve got until it’s out of sight, or, we find out home is not where our heart is. Either way, that’s a win-win.

     6) I’ve been there already, don’t book that

New bae wants to take you on a romantic trip to the same place old bae took you to. Calls for awkward conversation. Get the wine ready.

     7) Stuck in Paradise

“I’m in the Cayman islands, arguing in the swamp about Alice from accounting that you told me was a “friend”. I have a week left in this country with you and no cell service. F**k. “

This happened. TO ME. But I digress…

Whether it be minuscule or major matters you end up arguing over, there’s a possibility of a break up. Not ideal when you literally have a whole new world staring at you from your balcony, with no magic carpet to whisk you back home, Princess. Of course it doesn’t happen to everyone. But it could. It, Could.

      8) I like Jerk chicken, how could you not?

You can’t go to Jamaica, known for jerk seasoning, and find out that your person isn’t on that wavelength. You realize you’ve taken a romantic getaway with an entitled man who chips away at your soul with a tiny chisel labeled “loser” but you deny it due to the bottomless mimosas. Blessing in disguise. Now you know you can’t be together back home if you know his deep, dark, uncultured secrets. He’s never wandered outside of a resort. He’s never seen Shottaz.

This happened to me too. Clearly, my early twenties hurt.

The point is, don’t skip out on experience by having to morph into an uppity tourist who is unable to indulge because “Jerome” has a weak stomach. You can’t always live what you like if you’re catering for two.

      9) Break up Paper Trails: Now you’re Karruche.

And you must reinvent yourself — Even if you were an amazing, unique human being in the first place. Building travel memories with digital and paper evidence don’t make break ups any easier. THE PURGING PROCESS SUCKS. As gravity attacks, your body will weigh more than your conscience. It’s difficult to throw away a photo of yourself in a magical place. You’ll most likely settle for a literal severing from the past, keeping a cropped version of what was once bliss. Then the old memories invade your energetic space. You begin to associate that place with that person—a never ending downward spiral. Rip up the ticket before you get on the train.

     10) Because, Eat, Pray Love

You’re never leaving you. You need to fall in love with yourself, all of the time. You should love to be alone and have experiences that don’t involve other people. There’s so much self-reflection and growth that comes with living your life for yourself — even just for moments at a time. I don’t care if you travel two blocks to the park on a Tuesday. Try it by yourself. Romance yourself a bit. Buy yourself dinner. Walk on the beach under the moonlight. Hug yourself while watching whales out of a window seat.

If you have any reasons to travel solo or with friends versus Bae. Let a girl know. We love a good story.

December 22, 2016

Ashley Nguyen

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